


Not Going Down Without a Fight

by darkkwater



Category: Numb3rs (TV)
Genre: Anal Plug, Blindfolds, Blow Jobs, Breathplay, Candles, Dom/sub, First Time, First Time Bottoming, M/M, Nipple Clamps, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Restraints, Senses, Submission, Wrestling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:48:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21789289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkkwater/pseuds/darkkwater
Summary: Ian wants to submit to Colby... but can't.
Relationships: Ian Edgerton/Colby Granger
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25
Collections: 27 - Round Twenty-Seven of Rounds of Kink





	Not Going Down Without a Fight

**Author's Note:**

> **Note:** This was written for 27th Rounds of Kink (March 2016) for the prompt: "Ian discovers he's desperate to relinquish control and submit to Colby., D/s dynamics - as far as specifics go you can take this wherever you like ;D"; numberbiscuit, Kink: D/s dynamics  
> 

**Not Going Down Without a Fight-**

Ian landed face first on the mat with no idea how he got there. Again. He'd thought he had speed and skill and even some dirty tricks, but Colby was too fast, too strong, and once more Ian was pinned down to the mat. 

It had seemed like a good idea to challenge Colby to a sparring match. Ian had barely survived the last month and he needed to blow off some steam. In the last month, he'd had two cases go sideways on him - one because of a frustrating legal issue that wasn't his fault and one because of a fuckup that was very much his fault. No one had died, which was about the best he could say for both cases. The bad guys had gotten away and he would be after them again, but meanwhile they haunted his dreams and fouled up his waking moments. While waiting for a break in either case, he'd found himself in LA with time to waste. 

His original plan on coming to the LA FBI field office had been to see if Don and his team wanted to go out to supper, but he hadn't realized how late it was. When he'd gotten to the office, the only person there he'd recognized had been Colby Granger, who had apparently drawn the short straw in the ever-running game of paperwork chicken. Colby's face had lit up with pleasure when he saw Ian - an emotion that Ian rarely engendered in people - and Ian had smiled back. After Colby had verified that Ian didn't need him for a case, and he didn't need to interrupt Don and the others' evenings, Colby had welcomed him. Ian had remembered that Colby had been a bit of a fanboy the previous times they'd met, and Ian could really use an admirer at the moment, so he'd asked if Colby wanted to go to dinner just the two of them. Colby had been eager for the idea, though whether it was dinner with Ian or avoiding paperwork, Ian wasn't sure. When they had been waiting for the elevator, however, Ian had noticed a sign for the gym. He'd felt wired and on edge and decided some stress relief before dinner would be welcome. Colby had agreed to that with a smile. 

Now here Ian was, face down on the mat, and regretting suggesting the gym. Colby had turned out to be a lot faster and more agile than his bulk suggested, and even Ian's greater reach couldn't give him an advantage. 

Colby let him up and they circled each other again. Ian tried to remind himself that he was better on the other side of a gun, but his pride was definitely stung. He didn't like feeling old and slow. It was probably just lack of sleep due to the nightmares. Colby came in with a feint and Ian countered it then jumped back. Colby was smiling, an odd little half-smile, and Ian wanted to wipe that smile off his face. 

Ian kicked sideways then swung a fist at Colby's head - or where Ian expected Colby's head to be. Instead, Colby's head was jamming into Ian's chest, throwing him back, while Colby's hands were somehow grabbing Ian's thighs and Ian was flying through the air to land on the mat. Again. 

They backed off and took an unspoken moment to rest. Colby's eyes were lit up in a way that Ian had never seen. Ian was breathing harder than he was used to and his pulse was racing. The sparring that had started out casual had grown into something more intense, with an edge that Ian couldn't define. He felt more wound up than when they'd started. His brain said that he should suggest that they just quit and go to dinner. But his body wasn't listening. 

Ian nodded to Colby and they begin to circle again. Ian feinted then leapt into a flying kick. Colby grabbed him out of the air, swung him around, threw him to the mat and landed on top of him. Ian struggled to twist, to throw Colby off, but Colby blocked him at every turn. Finally, Ian lay still and panting, Colby's hard body pressing down on him. Colby shifted slightly and Ian realized that there was part of Colby's body that was even harder than the rest - his cock, and it was nestled right between Ian's ass cheeks. The indefinable edge to the last few minutes of sparring suddenly came into sharp focus. Colby's hands ran over Ian's shoulders and down his sides in a definite caress. 

"I'm going to fuck you, Ian Edgerton," Colby purred into his ear. 

Ian gasped, "What? Why?" He struggled again, harder this time, until Colby finally put his arm around Ian's windpipe and pulled his head back. Ian was held in a vise. 

"Why?" Colby echoed with a chuckle, his voice felt through Ian's body. 

"Because you beat me?" Ian said, his voice shakier than he wanted. "Because you can force me?" 

Colby's voice dropped even lower. "Because you want me to." 

Ian's pulsed jumped and his body throbbed. He hissed a denial, but it sounded weak even to his ears. 

Colby laughed and released him. He rolled off of him and stood up. Ian lay face down for longer, trying to recover his breath and his equilibrium. 

"I'm going to grab a quick shower," Colby said, his voice holding none of the promise of just before. "Meet you back up in the office? I'll get my stuff then we can go to supper." 

"Okay," Ian said, still looking down at the mat. 

Colby waited for a moment, then Ian heard him leave the room. Ian rolled over and stared at the ceiling. He reached down and shifted his own cock, which had grown hard over the last few minutes of sparring. 

Not that what Colby suggested appealed to him, no way. Ian had fucked a handful of men in his life, and enjoyed it, but he never had been and had no intention on being on the receiving end. Colby had only gotten carried away with the sparring. Ian would pretend Colby had never said anything. If Colby mentioned it again, Ian would just smack him down. Hard. 

Decision made, Ian got up from the mat. He stretched his shoulders and tried to forget how Colby's strong body had felt wrapped around him, controlling him. He went to the locker room and, making sure to be on the opposite side of the room as Colby, took a quick, ice cold shower. 

Dinner was surprisingly pleasant. They went to a hole-in-the-wall Mexican place that Colby knew, which was quite good. Colby didn't allude to his sexual comment and his demeanor was completely casual. He returned to the Colby Granger that Ian had known - wry, smarter than he looked, friendly, with a little bit of hero worship thrown in. They traded war stories about time in the Army, though they kept it light. Colby also had Ian laughing with his stories about his current job and coworkers. He had surprisingly snarky observations on each coworker, and the combination of admiration and bemusement with which he viewed Charlie felt very similar to Ian's thoughts. 

By the end of dinner, Ian had decided that Colby had been making a tasteless joke when he said he'd fuck Ian. Ian was more annoyed than he should have been by that realization. 

When Colby asked him if he wanted to come back to his place for a drink and to watch some sort of sports game, Ian hesitated, then decided that was stupid. This sort of camaraderie and distraction was exactly what he'd came to the FBI office seeking, and even if it was only with one other person, that would be fine. 

He smiled and asked for Colby's address. There was a flash of something in Colby's eyes, but it vanished so quickly that Ian thought he must be getting paranoid. 

Colby's apartment was pretty much as Ian expected. It was very tidy and sparse, as befitting an Army man. He did have a nice TV, though, and Colby got some beers and they settled in to watch a game. Ian was relaxing when he happened to look over at Colby and found Colby watching him with that same sharp look in his eyes. 

Colby looked away and Ian fumbled for his beer, surprisingly unnerved. 

After a while, the beer was gone and Ian felt the need to go to the bathroom. He got up from the couch and wandered down the hall. He opened the first door he saw… 

And froze. 

It was a small room, bare of furniture, but along the far wall was installed wooden racks. Ian tried to tell himself this was an exercise room, but the leather straps and chains and toys weren't for working out. 

"I was hoping you'd find this," Colby said behind him and Ian jumped. He wasn't used to people being able to sneak up on him. 

"Heh, uh," Ian said, trying to close the door. "Not the bathroom." 

Colby's hand shot out and stopped the door from closing. "No, it's my playroom." He stepped closer to Ian, close enough that Ian could feel the warmth from his body. "Want to play?" 

Ian cleared a suddenly tight throat. "Not really my thing." 

"Oh?" Colby asked lightly. "Not into men?" 

Ian cleared his throat again. "It's not that." 

Colby broke into a big grin. 

"It's just all that stuff," Ian said quickly, waving at the room. "I'm not into that." 

"Ever tried it?" 

Ian hazarded a joke. "Only when trying to get information from a suspect." 

Colby's face went serious. "There's only surface similarities. It's very different." 

Ian remembered that Colby was trained in enhanced interrogation techniques, even beyond Ian's own training. "I know that," Ian said. "Just, uh, where's the bathroom?" 

Colby pointed down the hall and Ian quickly went in and closed the door behind him. He leaned his forehead against the door, and somehow he was panting, like he had just run a race. He stumbled over to the toilet, then discovered that his cock was too hard to get out his fly. He unbuckled his jeans and pushed them down to his thighs. He had to close his eyes and take multiple calming breaths before he was able to urinate. 

He put himself back together and washed his hands. They were shaking. Damn it, what was wrong with him? He didn't want that room, he didn't want Colby. 

Okay, he had to admit, he wanted Colby. The man was very attractive. It was only logical that he'd want him. And Colby had made it very clear that he wanted Ian. It had been too long a dry spell and Ian could use some of that particular stress relief after his awful month. But not the sort of thing that room implied. 

He should just go out and grab Colby, kiss him, fuck him, and have some fun. 

But damn it, simple fun wasn't what his body was crying out for. He wanted Colby, with a deep down ache. It had nothing to do with Colby's playroom and everything to do with Colby's muscular body, wrapped around him, holding him tight, immobile, and whispering in his ear what he was going to do to him. 

He stared at himself in the mirror, and the man who stared back at him looked as shocked as he felt. 

"You okay?" Colby called from outside the door. 

Ian quickly dried off his hands and opened the door. "I'm fine," he lied. 

"Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," Colby said. "Want another beer? The game is finally getting good." 

Ian nodded and followed Colby down the hall. Colby was chattering about the game, but Ian was having trouble even remembering what sport they had been watching. 

They returned to the couch, beers in hand, and the game dragged on. Ian stared unseeing at the screen, memories from his failed cases running through his mind instead. He almost drifted off to sleep. His habitual insomnia had been particularly bad lately, with what little sleep he got interrupted by nightmares. Suddenly he felt a warm weight on his leg. He looked down and Colby had placed one of his strong hands on Ian’s thigh. Ian was suddenly wide awake. 

"This okay?" Colby asked. 

Ian nodded tightly. 

The hand weighed down on his thigh, feeling solid, warm. After a moment, it began to lightly knead his leg. Ian remembered Colby's fast hands, grabbing him and throwing him over his shoulder. He looked over at Colby to discover that Colby had somehow come much closer on the couch without Ian noticing. Ian barely had to lean over and their lips met. 

The kiss wasn't soft or tender, but it wasn't harsh or urgent either. It was strong, like Colby's hands and Ian found himself pushed back into the couch. He felt Colby's strength from his mouth to his groin. 

With a sudden flash of fear, Ian was striking out at Colby. Colby defended himself and they twisted and turned and landed on the floor. Then they were rolling and wrestling and fighting just like they had been at the gym, with even more urgency. 

They ended up, just like they had before, with Ian face down, Colby on top and imprisoning him. He tried to twist him off, and Colby's arm wrapped around Ian's throat, pulling his head back. 

"Here we are again," Colby said with a breathy laugh. He shifted and Ian felt Colby's hard cock between his ass cheeks. 

"Yes, we are," Ian snapped. 

"Do you want me to release you?" Colby asked. "Forget it all? I will, if you say so." 

Ian didn't answer for a long moment. He wasn't sure what he wanted. But he didn't want Colby to let him go. "No," he said at last. 

"No?" Colby asked. "No, release you or no, you don't want this?" 

"Don't release me." 

Colby gave a hum of approval that Ian felt through his body. "Good." He started to let up on the grip around Ian's neck and Ian twisted, aiming an elbow at Colby's head. 

Colby quickly subdued him again. "You want me to release you or don't want me to?" 

"Yes." 

Colby put his lips near Ian's ear. "Ian, let go," he murmured. "Let me take care of you." 

Ian struggled in Colby's grip, fought to find any purchase on the floor, any movement that would free him. Finally, he gasped out, "I can't." 

"Can't let go?" Colby asked softly. "Do you want to?" 

Ian's heart pounded in his chest, his pulse throbbed in his cock. He whispered, "Yes." 

Colby breathed out heavily. "Then let me help you." 

"I don't want… I don't want the playroom," Ian managed. "It makes me think of…" 

"Got it," Colby said. 

With one smooth move, Colby rolled off of Ian and stood up. Ian stayed on the floor, pressing his forehead to the rug. 

"Do you have a safe word that you like to use?" Colby asked. 

"I don't do…" 

"Don't do safe words? That's fucking stupid." 

Ian turned his head and glared up at Colby. "I don't do _this_! I'm not in situations where a safe word is something that comes up." 

"Ah," Colby said. "So you aren't familiar with either side." 

"No," Ian snapped. 

"It's alright," Colby said. "Let's use… Okay, I don't want you to forget it so we'll just use 'safe word.' Say 'safe word' if you ever are uncomfortable." 

"Then safe word," Ian said. 

Colby raised his eyebrows. 

"I'm very uncomfortable already. I just..." 

"Okay, forget uncomfortable. Let's change it to - say 'safe word' if you want me to stop." 

Ian sighed and put his head back down on the floor. 

"You need to understand," Colby said seriously. "Saying 'no' or 'stop' doesn't cut it here. You need to say 'safe word.'" 

Ian gave a tiny nod. He should stop this now. Why wasn't he stopping this now? 

Colby crouched down next to him. "You need this. For whatever reason. And I am going to give it to you. Trust me." 

Ian looked at him for a long moment. He did need it. He couldn't explain what 'it' was or why exactly he needed it, but he needed it. He realized something else. "I trust you." 

"Good." 

Colby stood up and somehow seemed to grow larger, a dark looming shape. "Now, _stand up_." 

Ian jerked in surprise at the command in the normally mellow voice. He looked Colby over then slowly got to his feet. 

Colby grabbed the front of Ian's shirt and yanked Ian's face close to his. "When I give a command, you will do it instantly, is that clear?" 

"I don't really do the following orders thing very…" 

" _Is that clear?_ " 

Ian swallowed his retort and nodded. 

"Now go into my bedroom, the second door on the right, and stand facing the bed." 

With a deliberately unhurried motion, Ian turned and went to find the bedroom. The room was as army-sparse as the rest of the apartment - all of Colby's pay seemed to have gone to the big TV and the playroom. Ian sat down on the bed. 

Colby came in behind him and looked down at him. Ian belatedly remembered he was supposed to be standing facing the bed. He stayed where he was. 

Colby smiled. It was not a pleased smile or a friendly smile, but a slow smile of challenge. 

"You're not in charge here, Ian. You do what I say and _only_ what I say." 

"I don't…" 

"Or you will be punished." 

Ian raised his eyebrows and waited for the whips and chains to come out. 

"Whenever you defy me," Colby said. "You will lose a sense." 

"What?" Ian said, startled. 

"Or the movement of a limb." 

"Uh…" 

Colby brought a strip of cloth from behind him, as if he knew that he'd need it. "Stand up and turn around." 

Ian did as he was told, his curiosity overcoming his reticence. 

Colby deftly tied a blindfold around Ian's eyes. Ian put his fingers to it. It wasn't a simple strip of cloth, but something almost molded to Ian's face, cutting out all light very effectively. 

"What sort of material is this?" Ian asked. 

Ian felt Colby step close behind him. "This isn't time for chatting. Speak only when you need to." Colby's hand ran down his back. "Of course, any other sounds you might be inspired to make…" 

Colby suddenly shoved him hard in the middle of his back and Ian fell forward, throwing out his hands to catching himself. His hands hit the unseen bed hard. Before he could recover, Colby tugged Ian's shirt up and over his head, the blindfold staying in place, until the shirt was sliding down Ian's arms. 

Ian started to pull the shirt the rest of the way off when Colby snapped, "Stop! I didn't tell you to do that." 

"But…" 

Colby paused for a long moment, then said, "I'll give you one time. Perhaps you didn't understand me earlier. Do not do _anything_ that I do not tell you to. I'll allow you unconscious or autonomous actions. You can continue to catch yourself if you fall, to move your head to listen. You can continue to breathe." His voice dropped to a whisper. "For now." 

Ian felt something unnamed go down his spine. It was a strange, shivery sensation. 

"Now," Colby said, his voice returning to his firm, even tone. "Let your shirt settle around your wrists." 

Ian fumbled his shirt into position. 

Colby's hands firmly stroked down Ian's naked shoulders and back. They kneaded his muscles, expertly relaxing him until suddenly… a sharp pinch. 

"Hey!" Ian complained. 

Colby returned to massaging, then just as Ian was relaxing again… another hard pinch. 

"Ow, what are you…" Ian straightened up, turned towards Colby, before his mind caught up with him. 

"Back in position!" Colby commanded. 

"Not if you're going to…" 

"A hand, this time," Colby said. 

"What?" 

Colby didn't answer, just moved away. Ian heard him leave the room. He turned his head as if he could watch him. When he heard Colby returning, he quickly got back into position. 

"Pull off your shirt and put your left hand behind your back." 

Ian slowly tugged his shirt off his wrists and threw it aside. Even slower he put his left hand behind his back. 

He felt something leather wrap around his left wrist, then another leather loop wrap around his waist. He tried to move his hand and found the two loops were chained together and his arm was tethered at his side. This is what Colby meant by 'lose the movement of a limb.' Ian hadn't meant to defy him, it was just instinct. 

Colby returned to massaging and pinching him. At first it was mostly massage and the rare pinch, but the ratio gradually changed until at last it was all sharp, quick pinches, hitting all his nerve centers. Ian's back flinched and his body wobbled, since he was having to hold himself up with just one arm, but he managed not to complain or turn around again. 

"Better," Colby said. "You can straighten up for a moment." 

Ian straightened up, rolling his shoulders then hoping that was okay. 

Colby didn't comment. Instead, he reached around Ian's body and began unbuckling his belt. Colby undid Ian's belt, unzipped his pants, then pulled his jeans and underwear down to his ankles. Ian felt exposed, but somehow less exposed than if he had been able to see it. 

Colby ran his hands over Ian's ass and down his legs, with long confident strokes. 

"Lean back over." 

Ian complied then Colby's hands were massaging his ass and lower body. Ian managed not to jump on the first pinch. The rest of the pattern repeated - massaging with increasing pinches until it was all pinches. Colby seemed to know every point that would hurt the most. Finally he stopped, and Ian found he was gasping. Ian quickly swallowed and settled his breathing. 

"Good job," Colby said. Then he slid one finger between Ian's ass cheeks and rubbed his asshole. 

Ian tensed. 

Colby's finger left and Ian tried to regain his breath. 

It whooshed out again when Colby touched his ass with a wet finger. There was something on Colby's fingers, and it was warm and slick and Ian was very much afraid that he knew what it was. 

Indeed, Colby's finger began to push into Ian's asshole. 

"Hey," Ian snapped. "I didn't say you could do that." 

Colby's finger pulled out. Colby stood silently, as if waiting for something. 

Oh, for Ian to say 'safe word' and stop him. Ian gritted his teeth. 

"There's only one way to stop me," Colby said at last. "Say 'safe word.' Otherwise, I will do what I want to. You are not in charge here, I am. And I will do _whatever_ I feel like, even sticking whatever the hell I want to in your ass and any other place. I promised no playroom, but that was all I promised not to do." 

Colby's finger returned and began to push in again. Ian straightened up and twisted around. He swung his free hand where he thought Colby was, but Ian was off-balance with his pants around his ankles, and Colby probably didn't even have to dodge. Ian fell heavily onto the bed. He tried kicking out, but got even more tangled. 

"Give me your right hand," Colby said calmly. 

Ian snarled wordlessly, lying in a heap on the bed. 

Colby waited. 

Ian could feel that calm waiting, a silent presence next to the bed. 'Trust me,' Colby had said. 'Let me take care of you.' 

He didn't like being 'taken care of.' He didn't like someone else making decisions. And he sure as hell didn't like taking orders. Still… The nightmares of the last month hovered at the edges of his awareness. The nightmares, the tension, the frustrations had receded for just a moment. He could suffer a few orders for that. 

Marshaling his will, Ian straightened himself out on the bed and put his right hand behind his back. Colby closed a loop around his right wrist and tethered it to his waist. 

"Now kneel at the side of the bed." 

Ian breathed out into the blanket beneath him, then slowly slid down and off the bed until he was kneeling on the floor. Colby removed Ian's shoes, socks, jeans and underwear. Ian felt the cool air of the room against his skin. He heard Colby move something across the floor. 

"Kneel on this." 

Ian shifted over until he felt something hard, perhaps wooden, against his leg. He struggled to get up onto it, and Colby helped him until he was kneeling on what must be a footstool or ottoman. 

"Lean over and lay down." 

Ian carefully leaned over, and found that his waist was now level with the bed. He lay with his chest flat against the bed, his hands sticking out by his sides. 

When Colby's wet finger touched Ian's ass, Ian bit his lip and forced himself not to move away. Colby's finger pushed in and Ian bit his lip harder. It felt strange and shockingly intimate. Ian felt Colby's other hand rubbing circles on his lower back. 

"You've never done this before," Colby said. It wasn't a question and Ian didn't reply. "You've been with men before, but you've never had one in your ass. You've always been on top." 

Ian stayed silent, focusing instead on keeping his breathing steady. Colby couldn't control how he reacted, he still had that. 

"Two fingers," Colby said unnecessarily as a second intruder pushed into Ian's ass. 

Ian's breath got away from him a little as Colby's fingers began to stretch apart. He ruthlessly pulled his breathing back to neutral. He could control his breathing when he was sighting a target down a rifle barrel, when a missed shot would certainly mean his life. He could control it with a couple of fingers in his ass. 

The fingers pulled out and Ian released his hands that he had unknowingly clenched into fists. 

Ian heard Colby move away. He wondered if Colby would fuck him now, if it all would be over so quickly. A part of him thought that it would be good to be gone, get out of this situation. But it was a very small part. The rest of him wanted so much more. 

After a moment, Colby returned. His fingers returned to Ian's ass and he stretched him all over again. Then something hard and plastic pressed against Ian's asshole. 

"It's a plug," Colby said. "It'll get your body used to something in your ass." 

Colby pushed the thing into his ass and Ian tried to jerk away. 

"Take it out!" Ian snapped. He squeezed his muscles, trying to push it out, but that only seem to settle it deeper inside him. Colby's hand was also there, keeping it in. Ian thrashed around, trying to grab Colby with his tethered hands, trying to shift to one knee so he could kick him. Colby just held onto him while he threw himself around. 

Finally, he stopped, exhausted, and the thing in his ass was a throbbing focal point. His ass ached, but it wasn't pain. His cock, pressed against the bed, was also aching. 

He lay there, gasping and swearing softly. 

Colby let him go and stepped back. He gave Ian a moment to calm down, perhaps to put a stop to this. 

When Ian didn't, Colby said, "Hearing, this time." 

Ian heard Colby move across the room. There was some electronic clicking, then a strange vocal almost monotone sound filled the room. It was halfway in between music and white noise. 

He couldn't hear Colby anymore. 

He twisted his head from side to side, straining for sound, but the music covered everything. His pulse raced, his heart pounded. He relied on his senses to hunt. He was used to going near blind, in the deep dark of night, but he hadn't realized how much his hearing meant to him. 

Colby's hand touched his shoulder and he jumped. He felt Colby's breath on his ear. "I can still hear you if you say the safe word. I know the music so I'll hear you." 

Ian turned his head away from Colby, panting heavily. He struggled against the deep, primitive fear of darkness and silence. It felt farther inside, banishing his constant, circling, more cerebral thoughts. 

Colby moved away, or at least Ian no longer felt his breath on his skin or his hand on his shoulder. Ian felt his own hands coming loose. Before he could react, Colby had both Ian's wrists gripped in his own strong hands. He pulled Ian's hands above his head and connected them there. The leather strap around his torso was removed. Colby moved Ian back into position, kneeling on the wooden platform, flat on his stomach, his arms now stretched at a point above his head. 

Ian strained to hear anything beyond the strange music, strained so hard he thought his ears would pop. 

What came next wasn't a noise but a sharp, stinging slap across his ass. He cried out, the sound muffled by the music. Another stinging slap, something that had edges but didn't cut. Another slap and another. Each slap jostled the plug inside his ass, sending jolts of sensation through him. His ass quickly heated up, inside and out. His cock was a stiff shape pressed between his body and the bed. 

The slapping moved up his back to his shoulders, then down again. It lingered on his ass then dropped down to his thighs and shins and even his feet. It seemed to go on forever. Ian couldn't tell, but he thought he might be whimpering. 

It wasn't even that painful - he'd had much worse done to him - but it was all encompassing. Since he couldn't see or hear, all he could do was feel. 

Finally, Colby stopped. He pulled on Ian's shoulders and directed him with his hands to stand up. Ian stiffly got to his feet, Colby helping him. His arms dropped in front of him, the chain between his wrists banging against his groin. It hurt, but his arms had fallen asleep and he couldn't lift them. 

Colby seemed to understand this. His strong hands kneaded Ian's shoulders and arms until the circulation returned. Colby then tugged Ian to walk around the room and up and down the hallway multiple times. Ian shuffled along, feeling clumsy and wobbly. At the far end of the hall, away from the music, he could hear Colby's movements, and each time he was reluctant to turn around and go back towards the music again. 

Finally, his body loosened up again. Colby seemed to agree, because he stopped Ian in what felt like the doorway of the bedroom. 

Colby was then raising Ian's hands above his head. Ian felt them catch on something above him, a hook of some kind. Abruptly the hook moved upwards and Ian was on his tiptoes, hung from the hook like… 

_Cement room. Men hanging from hooks like cuts of meat. Smell of scorched flesh in the air._

"No, no, no," Ian gasped. "Not this, please, God, please." 

Colby quickly released him. Ian staggered as his heels hit the floor and he went to his knees. 

_A face, a fellow soldier, a friend, turning towards Ian as he opened the door. The friend held a cattle prod in his hand._

Ian squeezed his eyes shut, though it didn't banish the searing image. The smell. 

_Shutting the door. Turning away. Saying nothing._

Ian began to shake. 

The music turned off. "Shhh," Colby said softly. "Hey, Ian, it's okay." 

Ian didn't reply, just curled up as much as he could. Old nightmares rushed in on him, merged with new nightmares, turned into a sharp jumble of images, regrets, failures. He felt Colby unlock his wrists, rub them. 

Colby put his hands under Ian's arms and pulled him up. Ian leaned against him, unable to hold himself upright. Colby turned him and walked him, then pulled him until Ian was fully on the bed, lying flat on his back. He heard Colby move away. 

Ian could only lay there, his senses beset by memory. 

Suddenly he smelled forests. 

He turned his head. It was… pine, earth and a hint of wood smoke, followed by the smell of candle wax. 

"It's the smell," Colby said quietly. Ian felt the bed dip as Colby sat beside him. "I could never forget the smell either." Colby sighed. "I shouldn't have put you in that position, I should have known better. I can hardly stand the position myself. Too many… associations." 

Ian breathed deep of forest and amazingly his shaking began to ease. They sat in silence for a long moment. 

"Okay, we'll start again," Colby said, his voice growing strong once more. "Hands above your head." 

Ian tiredly put his hands above his head. Even more than before he craved that indefinable something he'd felt when sparring with Colby. But now it seemed even farther away. He had to find it. He had to trust Colby. 

Colby put the noise/music back on and once again it filled Ian's ears so he could hear nothing else. Colby left the candle burning, though, and somehow that grounded Ian. He could smell the forest, almost taste it on his tongue, feel the blanket against his bare back and ass. Unable to see or hear, his other senses grew sharper. 

His skin tingled in anticipation of what would come next. 

Colby's hands, large and strong, ran over his face. His fingers traced the shape of Ian's lips. Ian wanted to take those fingers into his mouth but he caught himself just in time. He didn't want to lose another sense or movement of another limb. 

Colby's hands went to Ian's neck, lingering on his throat. Suddenly they were circling his throat, pressing on his windpipe and major arteries. Ian tossed his head from side to side but kept silent. Those hands could easily choke him to unconsciousness. The hands squeezed a moment longer… then let go. Ian sucked in an unsteady lungful of air. 

Colby ran his hands over Ian's shoulders and down his torso in long, firm strokes. He went up Ian's arms, even to his fingers, then down to his hips. Over and over, in increasing tempo, until Ian's breathing was accelerating with the strokes. He fought to get his breathing back under control. 

He lost his breath when suddenly he felt a warm, wet mouth on his right nipple. 

Colby licked and sucked on Ian's nipple, while one of his hands fondled the other nipple. Both touches started out soft but quickly grew hard, tugging, pulling. They switched, and Ian's left nipple got Colby's mouth with the other got his fingers. The touches started soft again then grew hard. Ian pressed his head back against the bed and struggled to stop from arching his back into Colby's touch. He'd never had his nipples played with so thoroughly and it was unexpectedly arousing. His cock was growing as hard as his nipples. 

After Ian's nipples felt so hard and tight they could cut, Colby moved off the bed. A moment later, Ian felt a hard, metal pinch on each nipple. Some sort of nipple clamp had been placed on each nipple. He snapped out a swear word… then froze. 

Colby didn't punish him, though, and he relaxed. Just in time for Colby to start stroking him hips to toes with those same long, strong strokes. Colby avoided Ian's cock, at least for now. Those strokes revved Ian's breathing up again, though, and he fought determinedly to keep control of that breathing. 

And once again lost it when he suddenly felt Colby's mouth on his cock. Colby licked and sucked the front of his cock, his fingers pulling gently at Ian's balls. Ian felt Colby prop up his cock with one hand and then he sucked the head of Ian's cock into his warm mouth. Colby made some sort of sound - Ian could feel it through his skin - then he sucked and bobbed up and down Ian's cock for a long moment. His other hand continued to play with Ian's balls. Ian felt the plug in his ass move pleasantly as he tightened and released his ass in time to Colby's movements. Ian moaned and settled into enjoy a killer blowjob. 

He should have known better. 

As soon as it was getting really good, and he felt his orgasm rising, Colby abruptly pulled off. Ian thrust up into the empty air. 

Ian felt cool wet fingers on his cock - lube? Then with sudden, dexterous movements, Colby slid something over his cock and balls and wrapped it tight. They felt like were caught in a vise and his orgasm instantly choked off. 

"What the fuck?" he yelled. 

He twisted around, bringing his knees up and arching his back. "Get it the fuck off!" He brought his arms down and tried to pull whatever it was off, but his fingers fumbled ineffectively. "I swear to God, I'm going to kill you, Granger!" 

Colby let him yell and struggle and roll around. He only stopped Ian from rolling off the bed. 

Ian thrashed himself out, ending up on his stomach. He quickly rolled to his back to avoid pressing down on his nipple clamps and the horrible thing around his cock and balls. His whole body throbbed, from his bound wrists to his asshole, even down to his feet. 

He lay there, panting. He was going to say 'safe word' and end this. He didn't need this abuse, didn't need this… didn't need this… didn't… need… 

He breathed in forest and struggled to center himself. He could almost feel Colby, silently waiting. 

"Fuck," he said at last. "Not smell… please." 

Colby's lips came close to Ian's ear and he said, "A leg, then." 

Ian nodded and wondered how Colby was going to immobilize just one leg. He hoped that Colby wasn't going to put him back on his stomach and truss up an ankle. Laying on the clamps and cock restraint would be torturous. 

Ian got his answer with the return of the torso leather strap, loops around his calf and thigh, and the chain tightening between them until his knee was bent up tightly to his side. He had to hold the bent leg carefully to avoid bumping his cock restraint. His untethered leg automatically bent up, though to a lesser degree. Ian bet he'd soon lose the movement of that leg as well. 

Colby also took Ian's bound hands and attached them to something above his head so he couldn't bring them down again. Ian ached all over. Some of it was muscle or joint pain, but a lot of it was a sort of pressure that he felt in his balls and his teeth and his fingernails and everywhere else. 

A slight bump at nipples was all the warning he got then Colby removed the nipple clips. Pain and heat bloomed through Ian's chest, starting at his nipples and radiating out in waves. He cried out and arched his back. The pain finally began to fade when Colby put the clips back on. Ian cried out again at the renewed pain in his super-sensitized nipples. 

"Bastard!" Ian growled. "Take them off and leave them off!" Though he knew it was pointless, he tried to lift his unbound knee to rub against the nearest clamp. 

Colby let him fumble for a moment fruitlessly, then Colby's hand closed around his ankle. Ian kicked out, struggling mightily for that last free limb, but soon it was tethered up tightly like his other leg. He felt trussed up like a captured animal, his arms above his head, his legs bent up to each side. 

He rocked from side to side, but that was about all he could do, and it made his nipple clamps sway painfully. 

There was one other thing he could do - he could end this with two words. But now his pride was in play. He could handle whatever Colby dished out. Colby might think he was in charge, but Ian was in control of his reactions, his breathing. Ian was simply choosing to continue, nothing to do with the way his mind and body were on fire. 

There was a long break, or at least whatever break Ian could get in his position. Then the bed dipped and he felt bare skin brush his left side. Colby must have gotten undressed. There was a dip in the bed on his right side as well and he decided that Colby must be kneeling over him. His guesses were confirmed when he felt the firm head of a cock against his lips. 

He jerked his head to the side, so the cock rubbed against his cheek. "You think I'm going to suck you off?" he snapped. "After what you've done to me? Go suck yourself." 

Colby moved away, though Ian knew it was just a brief respite. He wondered how Colby would take away his sense of smell. Just snuffing out the candle would do it, but God, he needed the forest. 

After a moment, Ian felt the bed move again. Colby leaned down and said in Ian's ear, "You better stop me now if you want to, because soon your mouth is going to be too full to talk." 

"Fuck you," Ian growled. 

Colby laughed and moved away. Soon he was braced back over Ian. But instead of Colby's cock, Ian felt Colby's finger at his lips. He rubbed something that smelled faintly sweet on Ian's lips. Ian automatically licked it. It was a strong, flowery flavor that burst on his tongue and overwhelmed his mouth. He turned his head to the side and spat, but the flavor stayed, clinging to all surfaces until he could no longer taste the forest. This was how Colby took away Ian's sense of taste - by overloading and masking it, like he had with the music and his hearing. He spat again, but it was futile. 

Colby's strong hand turned Ian's face back upwards. Ian kept his mouth firmly sealed. Colby waited a moment and Ian imagined he could hear Colby saying, 'Last chance to stop me.' 

Ian clenched his fists and pressed his lips tighter together. 

Colby pinched his nose shut. 

Ian twisted his head from side to side, then rocked his whole body, but he couldn't throw off Colby. Finally, he had to gasp for air, and Colby's cock slid between his lips. 

For a brief moment, Ian thought about biting Colby, but he really didn't want to know what the punishment would be for that. Colby might hang him back up on the hook, understanding or not. 

Ian tried to keep his mouth loose, passive, but he couldn't. Soon he was sucking on that cock, his mouth stretching around a big head and thick column. He'd sucked men before, though it had been a long time. He licked and sucked and Colby rocked against him. Ian worked up as much saliva as he could, trying to rinse his mouth from that flowery taste. It was a small triumph to taste Colby's skin through the flowers. 

Ian had blown men before, but never from this angle. Colby rocked in and out, pushing deeper with each thrust. Ian was forced to tilt his head back, open his throat up. Getting enough air became an exercise in concentration, pulling in what he could through his nose and between thrusts. When Ian was sure he couldn't take another centimeter of cock, his nose was tickled by pubic hair and he felt something hard and plastic pressed against his lips. Colby must be wearing a cock ring. 

Ian sucked Colby even harder, wanting to make Colby come unplanned. Colby thrust deep into his throat for a long moment, as if enjoying Ian's futile attempts, then he pulled out and patted Ian's cheek. Ian turned his head and spat in frustration. 

Colby moved off the bed. The next thing Ian felt was a hand on his thigh. Colby then began to twist and move the anal plug, pulling and pushing it with tiny thrusts. It was a strange sensation, not pleasure but not pain either. 

Colby slowly pulled it out. 

Ian gasped in relief, but it was very short-lived. He felt something else at his asshole, another plastic thing, and it began to push in. Ian groaned as he realized this was larger than the other one. He tried to scoot away from it, but Colby easily held him and the plug inexorably pushed in. As it settled into place, Ian felt a frisson of sensation from what could only be his prostate. He hadn't realized that Colby hadn't touched his prostate when he was stretching him, and the first anal plug was too small to reach it. He sucked in air as the plug rubbed against his prostate again. 

Colby must have picked up on Ian's reaction, because he began to twist and rub the plug against Ian's prostate. Ian groaned as ripples of pleasure started to spread through his body. His imprisoned cock pulsed. Colby continued to work the plug and Ian's legs started to shake. He tried to pull away put Colby held him in place. The pleasure in Ian's ass felt like a water building up against a dam, the pressure steadily rising but with no outlet. His whole body felt like that, even his brain felt like that, the pressure building with everything Colby did. 

"What do you want?" he cried out. At least he thought he did, maybe it was only in his head. He tried to speak again, but his voice trailed off into a helpless moan. 

Finally, when Ian was certain he couldn't stand one more moment, Colby stopped teasing him with the plug. Unmoving, the plug was barely tolerable, but it was tolerable. 

Ian tried to gather himself. He focused back on his breathing. It seemed vitally important to control his breathing. He breathed deep of forest and began counting down from 60. 

He didn't even get to 45 when he lost the rhythm. Colby unclipped the nipple clamps and pain again spread over his chest. He felt something cold on his nipples, making them icy, aching points in a sea of heat. He swore helplessly at Colby. 

The next while was a blur. Clips and pinches, caresses and blows with the strap and Colby's open hand. Tormenting Ian's restrained cock and balls, jiggling the anal plug, teasing his swollen nipples. Colby was everywhere, his hands in Ian's hair and in his mouth, his legs rubbing against Ian's feet, his lips on Ian's hip. Colby moved Ian from front to back, side to side, sensitizing each exposed area until just before Ian couldn't take any more then moving on. Ian fought every repositioning, but each time he fought a little less. 

His body screamed the need for independent movement, for orgasm. He might have screamed out loud, he wasn't sure. The music and the absence of light and the flowery taste filled his senses, the scent of the forest fading before the onslaught. Ian pushed back the only way he could, by trying to keep control of his breathing. It was a battle that he lost a little faster each time. 

After what seemed like hours, the bed dipped and Ian felt Colby above him. Ian's arms suddenly went slack and the straps were removed from his wrists. Though he wanted to bring his arms down, he left them where they were. Colby shifted on the bed and then Ian's legs were free. His legs shakily slid to a more comfortable position. The straps disappeared from his ankles and torso as well. 

He lay there, trembling. 

Colby kissed his feet and Ian flinched. Colby kissed his way up each of Ian's legs. He nuzzled Ian's bound cock and balls. He licked Ian's stomach. He sucked on Ian's sore nipples. Then he lay full length on top of Ian, pressing him down with the weight of his large body. Ian could feel Colby's cock ring against him. Colby's mouth was on his and he was kissing Ian deeply, with all the strength of their first kiss on the couch. 

But Ian was not the man who Colby had kissed earlier that evening. Ian let Colby hold him down, run his hands over Ian's arms and shoulders as he pushed his tongue deep into Ian's mouth. Ian found himself unable to kiss Colby back. He whimpered softly and dug his fingers into the blanket beneath him. 

Colby kissed Ian's face and throat. He spoke in Ian's ear, words he'd said before, a lifetime ago. "I'm going to fuck you, Ian Edgerton." 

Ian gathered what he had left and whispered, "Go to Hell." 

Colby laughed softly and kissed Ian's ear. 

Colby rolled off of him. He released Ian's cock and balls from their restraint. He slowly pulled the plug from Ian's ass. He turned Ian over and added some more lube to his asshole. Then he crawled up Ian's body and lay flat on top of him. His cock nestled between Ian's throbbing ass cheeks. 

One last bit of fire, and Ian struggled for a moment. Like every other time, Colby quickly brought him under control. Colby's arm went around his throat, pressing against his windpipe. Ian stilled and finally, finally, surrendered his breathing to Colby. 

Colby shifted and moved then his cock was breaching Ian's prepared asshole. Ian gasped as Colby's cock stretched him past the dimensions of even the larger plug. Colby rocked and pleasure shot through Ian, unfettered this time by any restraints. Still holding Ian's body tightly, Colby began to very slowly and very thoroughly fuck him. 

Ian lay passively, wrapped all around by Colby's strong body, seceding control completely to someone else in a way he'd never done. Colby shifted slightly, until he was hitting Ian's prostate at the perfect angle. Ian gasped, more of a release of air than a noise. Pleasure rushed through him in surges, as he floated, anchored by Colby's tight hold. 

Everything loosened inside him. Fear, doubt, guilt. The last month's mistakes. Older frustrations and failures. 

Slowly, gradually, like the rising tide, Colby's thrusts began to speed up. Ian was riding a huge wave, heading towards a distant shore that came closer with every second. His cock was pressed between his body and the bed but it was throbbing in time to Colby's thrusts. 

Abruptly, Colby yanked Ian on his side. He let go of Ian's throat and from somewhere found several pillows to shove under Ian. Colby wrapped his arm back around Ian's throat and rolled them back to position, but now Ian's cock wasn't compressed. Ian's breathing sped up even more. 

Colby returned to moving, his weight and strength pressing Ian down with each thrust. Ian's cock slid against the bed with just the right amount of friction. Ian felt Colby with every inch of his body. It felt like Colby was inside his skin as well, filling up all empty spaces. Ian could feel his orgasm rise, like a tidal wave rising up as it neared the shore. 

Ian could feel Colby's orgasm rising, too. His arms wrapped even tighter around Ian, one arm pressing against Ian's windpipe. Ian breathed shallowly, sucking in the air that Colby allowed him. Colby's thrusts sped up, sped up, until he was hammering into Ian, every ounce of the strength of his powerful body driving into Ian's ass. 

Ian's orgasm crested, thundering through him like a wave reaching the shore. He cried out and they were crashing as one, a giant wave smashing against the rocky shore, scattering and destroying everything in its path, obliterating all thought. They were the wave, roaring and roiling and breaking together. 

Finally, the wave slowed, spent the last of its energy, began to recede. Ian sobbed wordlessly. Ian felt Colby's chest push against his back as Colby gasped over and over. 

They lay together. Colby's hold on Ian didn't ease, maybe even tightened. Ian never wanted to move again. He felt shattered, and that the only thing holding him together was Colby's arms. 

Slowly, Ian's mind and body began to gather themselves back together. Aches and twinges and unnamed throbbings vied for his attention. He ignored them and waited for Colby to release him. 

With a soft grumble, Colby unwrapped himself from Ian and carefully pulled out of Ian's ass. Colby moved away and Ian had to bite back a protest. Colby soon returned and gently cleaned Ian off. He turned Ian's body cautiously, lifting each limb, touching each nipple, separating Ian's ass cheeks. Ian realized that Colby must be checking for damage. Colby didn't seem to find any, but Ian felt something cooling and slightly numbing rubbing over his sore nipples and into his asshole. Colby's finger in Ian's ass was a distant echo of Colby's driving cock. 

Colby turned off the music. The sudden ability to hear was almost shocking. Ian listened to Colby's movements in the room with relief. Colby set something on the side of the bed next to them. 

Colby pulled off Ian's blindfold. Ian blinked rapidly as his long-darkened eyes struggled to adjust. After a moment, he realized that there was only low light in the room, coming from two tall, thick, dark-green candles on each side of the bed. They must be the forest-scented candles. He wondered vaguely how Colby knew that they would settle him. 

"When I'm struggling with memories," Colby said quietly, "When I have nightmares, I burn those candles." 

Ian noted that the large candles were over halfway burned down. Ian looked back at Colby and saw that Colby was looking at him almost shyly. 

Ian reached up and put his hand on Colby's cheek. He ran his fingers lightly across Colby's lips. Colby breathed out, leaned down, and brushed his lips across Ian's. 

With a tired groan, Ian straightened his body out. Colby got the blanket he'd put next to them. He tugged the blanket over both of their spent bodies. Then, moving slowly as if he was expecting Ian to object, he wrapped his arms loosely around Ian and pulled him close. Ian rested his hands lightly on Colby's arms and lay his head on Colby's shoulder. 

Ian let out a long breath, closed his eyes, and slept. 

Free of dreams. 


End file.
